


Aspects

by cresselia8themoon



Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Complete, Gen, The usual Heinz Doofenshmirtz angst cause the poor guy can't catch a break
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-28
Updated: 2018-08-15
Packaged: 2019-03-25 00:12:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 15,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13822398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cresselia8themoon/pseuds/cresselia8themoon
Summary: We all have parts of us that we display to the world. We all have parts that we show only to our loved ones, and other parts that we’re afraid to think about. If you could choose to erase the worst of yourself, would you do it?





	1. Incomplete

**Author's Note:**

> Big thanks to revenblue and Ephemeral_Enthusiast on Discord for helping me refine this little idea I had! The inspiration of this fic came from the Wander Over Yonder episode, The Wanders, where Wander was split into many different Wanders that contain part of his personality and Sylvia has to put her lil’ buddy together again. So then I thought, I could easily see something similar for Perryshmirtz! 
> 
> But before we go into the story, think about this. 
> 
> We all have parts of us that we display to the world. We all have parts that we show only to our loved ones, and other parts that we’re afraid to think about. If you could choose to erase the worst of yourself, would you do it?

He hammered away at the base of his invention to stabilize it, though he barely cared if he dented the metal. He was aware that he didn’t need to be putting so much force behind each swing, but the rhythmic clangs served as a welcome distraction from his thoughts. 

Some days were good days. He had a scheme lined up, Perry would come, and they would go through the routine. He loved the stability. While the type of inator varied, and the battles required a mixture of instinctive movement and improvisation, the core remained the same. 

Yet the bad days were happening with increasing frequency, ever since he had that emotionally draining scheme with the Backstory-inator. It wasn’t as if anything exceptionally terrible had happened since then. Unless he counted that phone call from Roger where he shamelessly bragged about the Mother Loved Me More and I’m Calling to Rub it in Award or the Pretentious Glory Hound Award. 

Something like that anyway. 

Don’t think. Just hammer. Keep working. 

_“I can feel myself getting more EVIL!”_

No. Stop. It was a haze. He wasn’t acting rationally. It was all a haze. He didn’t remember it clearly. He couldn’t remember gripping a platypus so tightly that his tiny bones could’ve been crushed with just a tad more pressure, or the mad rush of power that strengthened with every failure, every defeat, every humiliation for 47 years. 

_“FEEL THE DOOM! NOTHING CAN STOP ME NOW!”_

If Perry hadn’t gotten his arm free to show him the pictures…. 

If Vanessa had stepped out of her room to ask for the car keys just a couple minutes later…. 

He shook his head. These what ifs needed to stop. It was a bad habit, almost like an internal self destruct button. But they were always there, swimming in the back of his mind until something brought it to the front. 

What if he obeyed his parents more? What if he tried just a little harder in kickball so his mother would love him? What if he’d swallowed his fears and completed the high dive to become a man? What if what if what if? 

Stop it. Just focus. You’ll be happier this way. They’d be happier knowing the pathetic clump of cells decided to do something worthwhile by erasing the parts of himself that people seemed to hate so much. Vanessa might be more willing to spend time with him, Perry would actually get a nemesis that would be worth his time. And Norm….

Well, he wasn’t sure what Norm wanted, but he was just including him because he lived in the penthouse too. 

It was finished at last. If it worked, maybe everyone would just be a little happier. If not, that was fine. This could be a test drive, then he could erase more if he needed to. 

Taking a deep breath, he set the timer for ten seconds, like he was snapping a family photo on Christmas Day. Then he stood in front of the invention. 

He closed his eyes just as a beam of light engulfed his body. 

It was better this way. 


	2. Shell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could just drop everything and give Heinz a break but where’s the fun in that?

Vanessa thumbed through her playlist as she waited for the painfully slow elevator to crawl down to the first floor. Her current music was starting to grow a bit stale, she found. Scraping Fangs was a good band, but listening to them with earbuds for long stretches of time would eventually do a number on her eardrums. 

A loud explosion rocked the upper floors, making the light fixtures sway and flicker. 

She sighed. 

Unless her dad managed to destroy her sense of hearing first. 

Finally, the elevator opened. She stepped inside, hitting the button for the topmost floor. At least the explosion hadn’t affected the elevator. She remembered Candace mentioning that she’d once climbed all 45 flights of stairs of DEI to deliver Fireside Girl cupcakes because the elevator was out of order. 

Vanessa could hardly blame her for developing a somewhat intense dislike towards stairs. 

The door to the penthouse was missing a hinge. When her dad was an evil scientist who got regularly foiled by a platypus, collateral damage just happened to be part of life. She had to give them credit though. They were excellent at leaving her belongings intact. 

“Dad! I’m here!” Vanessa called as the door creaked back into place behind her. 

She was greeted with silence. 

Okay, maybe he was plotting again. That wasn’t too unusual. But she couldn’t hear drills, hammers, or laser beams being fired. She briefly considered that he might’ve gone to an empty warehouse or City Hall again, but he always left a note on the coffee table alongside a plate of food for those occasions. 

And the only things on the table were the TV remote and the OWCA rulebook. She had no idea why he owned it in the first place. 

“Norm?” she shouted. Maybe he could tell her where her dad ran off to. When he didn’t answer, she checked the storage closet, only to find several upturned boxes and the mangled remains of Norm’s popsicle stick bride. 

Several sheets of cardboard hastily bound with duct tape lay open on a shelf, a blocky script written in black sharpie covering every inch of the material. 

**DEAR DiaRY,**

**I HAVE ~~TwO ThREE FOuR~~ NO SEvEN DaDs NOW!!!! DoeS ONe OF THEM CouNT as A Dad cAuse he’S Not A GrounUP Oh well. GOing to PArK wiTH DAD! Bye! **

**-NORM**

Vanessa quickly moved the cardboard into the position she’d found it in, realizing that she accidentally invaded her robot brother’s privacy. 

“Sorry,” she muttered as she stepped out of the storage closet. At least Norm was incapable of holding a grudge. She couldn’t help but wonder what the ‘seven dads’ meant though. 

Heinz and Perry were only two people after all. 

There was something about this situation that didn’t sit right with her. Vanessa took a deep breath, then typed the OWCA contact number listed on the refrigerator into her phone. Just in case she needed it. 

There was no need to panic. There was a perfectly logical explanation behind this. 

She clutched her phone tightly, fingers hovering over the call button as she walked to the lab, the last place she hadn’t checked. The door had a large circular hole in it, and there were scorch marks along the floor and walls. A large machine sat in the back. Several sparks fizzled out along its numerous cracks and dents. 

Then she noticed the body crumpled in front of the machine. 

* * *

Perry stretched out under the shade of the oak tree, leaning into Ferb when he scratched a spot that he couldn’t easily reach. Phineas flipped through a blueprint book, unable to decide between making the world’s largest mirror maze or training lemurs in the fine art of Bulgarian folk dancing. 

Several faint beeps reached his ears. Perry groaned inwardly and snuggled against Ferb. Maybe if he ignored the beeps, they’d go away. 

Phineas glanced up from his book. “What’s that sound? Did someone walk within a fifteen-foot radius of Mr. Levine’s car again?” he asked. 

Perry turned over, tucking the arm with his wristwatch under his body to muffle the noise. It took all his concentration to keep his eyes unfocused so the boys didn’t suspect him. 

The gate to the backyard opened. “Whatcha doin’?” Isabella asked sweetly. 

“Still decidin’,” Phineas replied with the same vocal inflection. 

Isabella giggled. “Well, keep goin’.” 

Perry rolled his eyes as he broke away from Ferb, taking full advantage of the distraction Isabella’s arrival had caused. Honestly, Phineas could give Heinz a run for his money in the oblivious department. 

Once he was alone, he opened his watch. 

“Good morning, Agent P,” Monogram said. “We’ve received a distress signal from Dr. Doofenshmirtz’s daughter. She says she found him collapsed in his lab. This could just be an effect from one of his inventions, so I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about. But go investigate, just in case.” 

Perry saluted. 

He slipped into his jetpack, worry quickly overtaking his mind. Heinz was the most resilient person he’d ever met. It wasn’t like him to collapse in the middle of inventing. Unless he had a heart attack, or a stroke, or an aneurysm…. 

Perry shook his head. No, a medical condition was incredibly unlikely. Otherwise Vanessa would’ve called 911 and not OWCA. 

He hoped Monogram’s theory was correct. 

* * *

Well, her dad was physically awake. 

“Hey, Dad,” Vanessa said, snapping her fingers in front of his face in the vain hopes of getting a reaction. “So you’re fine now?” 

Heinz remained on the couch, stubbornly refusing to speak. His eyes had a distant look to them, as if he couldn’t really see her. His fingers were lifeless, and his posture was much worse than usual. 

The worst part was the silence. 

Funny how she wished he would be quieter or stop talking long enough so she could tell him something important. Life had to grant her wish in the worst way possible. 

She paced around the room, throwing occasional glances to the couch. Couldn’t he just read a book instead of moping around? 

Did he have the thought process to mope around? 

Heinz wouldn’t be burning down the penthouse in his current state, so for her peace of mind she headed for the balcony. If there was one perk about the penthouse, it was the view. 

Not that she’d admit it.

She was listening disinterestedly to a wife scold her husband for some financial thing below when a whooshing sound caught her attention. She waved at Perry as he landed on the balcony. 

Took him long enough. 

* * *

Offering a bar of almond brittle didn’t work. Vanessa played the theme song of his favorite Mexican soap opera on her phone, but that didn’t rouse him either. 

“See what I mean? He’s nothing but a vegetable. Just stop, Perry. We aren’t getting anywhere,” Vanessa complained. She pressed a palm to her forehead in frustration. 

It was strange seeing Vanessa so frustrated. She was usually indifferent to most of Heinz’s evil schemes when she wasn’t embarrassed by them. Perry patted her shoulder in a weak attempt to reassure her. She looked up at him, weakly smiling. 

“Thanks,” she murmured. 

Heinz simply lay on the couch, covered in a warm blanket. He didn’t try to join their conversation. Perry wasn’t even sure if he was listening. His eyes were fixed on the same distant spot. He barely moved. 

He was breathing. He had a pulse. His body functioned like normal. 

But the things that made Heinz Doofenshmirtz who he was were gone. 

“Hey, I was thinking,” Vanessa said, staring down at her hands. “I found Norm’s diary-at least, what I think passes for a diary. He wrote something about seven dads and going to the park with Dad. But we have one here, so there must be another one with Norm.” She huffed. “Honestly, Dad. Cloning again? How cliche can you get?” 

Perry paced around the room, reflecting on this new information. That certainly hadn’t been the lead he’d been expecting. But it was a start. And it was nice to see some of Vanessa’s sarcasm return.

Somehow, he wasn’t so sure they were dealing with clones. 

He gave Vanessa a tiny, comforting smile, and the shell of Heinz Doofenshmirtz a quick pat on the arm. He didn’t even react.

“I’ll search around the penthouse,” Vanessa said. “See if there’s anything that can tell us what’s going on. And keep an eye on Dad. I really wish he was just blowing something up. Way less worrying.” 

Perry wrote the number to his company-issued phone on a scrap of paper, then pressed it into Vanessa’s hand. It would be easier if they could contact each other without OWCA as a mediator. 

He was breaking regulations, but he didn’t care. Heinz was far more important than those stupid rules. 

As he primed his jetpack, he couldn’t help but wonder if Heinz was focusing on his backstory rather than the Tri-State Area again. It wouldn’t be the first time.


	3. Dad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Are his feelings real, or has he just been programmed to mimic the emotions of humans? This will raise important ethical questions as artificial intelligence becomes more prevalent in our society.” 
> 
> -Jim, “A Clockwork Origin”, Milo Murphy’s Law

Perry checked his phone, unsure if he should be worried or relieved that Vanessa hadn’t texted him back. She probably had things under control, but Perry didn’t mind if she simply contacted him because she wanted someone to hold a conversation with. 

“Remember, you gotta hold the ball by its seams. And don’t worry about bursting them either. It’s no big loss. Besides, we can always go to the soda shop,” a familiar voice suggested. Perry looked up, finding Heinz and Norm standing ten feet away with several assorted sport balls. 

Perry fumbled with the newspaper, quickly putting it up before he was spotted. Thankfully, it was large enough to cover his entire body. He wasn’t even sure why he was delaying bringing this clone of Heinz back to the apartment. 

While Norm didn’t visibly emote, he seemed...happier. His limb movement appeared less rigid, and he repeated the syllables ‘hahaha’ over and over again, the A.I equivalent of laughter.

Perry blinked, his hands clutching the pages tightly. He tried to tune out the happy scene in front of him, knowing that this was the day Norm had been hoping for his entire life. 

He squinted at the headline ‘Roger Doofenshmirtz Plans to Visit Orphans in Drusselstein’, suddenly unable to read the article in front of him as Norm’s words from a previous scheme resurfaced in his mind.

_“Now, who are you?” an amnesiac Heinz asked, unable to remember anything due to the effects of the Forget-About-It-inator._

_“I am...your...son!” Norm claimed. “Yeah!”_

An invention was a child in its own way, produced by a combination of an idea and physical materials. Following that logic, Perry could see why Norm considered himself Heinz’s son. 

Had he seen the affectionate way Heinz treated Vanessa and wanted the same thing for himself? Or was it characteristic of an A.I to consider themselves a child of the inventor if they were given enough sentience to learn and develop from experience? 

Perry pinched himself to get rid of the internal ethical debate. This wasn’t the time. He needed to observe the situation so he could make a plan to get the fatherly clone of Heinz back to the penthouse. 

Heinz was easy to convince on some things, but he would always stubbornly deny being Norm’s father. Sadly, the only times Norm was able to have that father-son bond only happened when Heinz was affected by an inator. 

He really couldn’t blame Norm for lying that day. Maybe ‘lying’ wasn’t even the correct word. He had been desperate, and nothing more.

And now he would have to take Norm’s happiness to restore Heinz to normal. 

Perry peeked over his newspaper, just in time to see Heinz give a thumbs-up to Norm for catching a football. 

Sometimes he really hated playing the hero.

 

* * *

 

 

“I’ll be right back. Just gotta check on something first,” Vanessa promised, trying not to look at the glass of water and apple that had gone untouched. She hoped Perry would find her dad’s clones before the shell starved to death. 

If anything could provide answers, it was the lab. Vanessa checked the large desk where Heinz worked on his blueprints. She tossed aside several half-finished sketches for future schemes. Vanessa had to give him points for creativity, as ridiculous as the Cat’s Cradle-inator and the Squeaky-Toy-inator sounded. 

If she could just find the blueprints for the broken machine she’d seen earlier, it would probably provide some information on how to reverse this mess. 

Then again, Heinz suffered from a lack of foresight. It was really more of a gamble. 

Finally, she found a crumpled blueprint shoved into the bottom desk drawer. She carefully spread it out, taking care not to rip the edges. It was a complete diagram of the broken machine.

Vanessa inspected each side carefully, matching each detail of the diagram to the finished product. The only things that didn’t match up were the numerous cracks, but those probably occurred after the explosion. 

“Okay, Dad. Let’s see if you’ve given us anything useful,” Vanessa said, taking the sheet into the living room. She didn’t want to be in the lab for longer than she had to. 

 

* * *

 

 

“Go long, Norm!” Heinz shouted. “And Number 1 Son is going, going, and he’s crossed into the end zone! Touchdown for Norm!” 

“YAY,” Norm intoned. “I DID IT. AM I ALLOWED TO POUR A DRINK ON MYSELF IN CELEBRATION?” 

Heinz high-fived him. Or more accurately, Heinz pressed his hand against one of Norm’s metallic fingers. “Do you think they’d let a robot into the NFL? They ought to. You’d destroy the competition!” 

“GEE, THANKS DAD. IF I HAD A HUMAN’S CIRCULATORY SYSTEM, I WOULD BE BLUSHING.” 

Perry wasted time that could’ve been spent looking for the...clones? Versions? Neither of those words felt like they described the situation. 

When Heinz and Norm laid down on the grass to rest, Perry knew this was his chance. He neatly folded the newspaper and approached them. 

“And that cloud looks like a muffin!” Heinz pointed to the sky. Perry glanced up, but he didn’t really see anything in the sky that could closely resemble a muffin. 

“MY FAVORITE MUFFIN IS CHOCOLATE CHIP,” Norm said. “THAT CLOUD LOOKS LIKE A CHOCOLATE CHIP MUFFIN.” 

Heinz laughed. “You sure you aren’t hungry for muffins? Cause I know a good cafe downtown. And now I’m craving them too. We should both go.” 

“CAN WE INVITE PERRY THE PLATYPUS?” Norm asked. 

“Sure! He’d love that cafe too! They serve oolong tea, his favorite,” Heinz responded. “And the chocolate chips in their muffins come melted. Melted chocolate just flows, you know?” 

Perry chirped to get their attention. Better to get it over with now. 

Norm gave a cheery wave. “WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT YOU. WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME WITH US AND EAT DELICIOUS MUFFINS?” 

He shook his head. The longer this dragged out, the harder it would be. And he wanted to get back to Vanessa as soon as possible. She was holding up pretty well given the circumstances, but he didn’t want to keep her waiting. 

Norm’s usual smile flipped into a frown. “WE ARE HAVING LOTS OF FUN. THIS IS THE FIRST TIME OUR SCHEDULES HAVE MATCHED UP. PLEASE DON’T TAKE THIS AWAY FROM US.” 

Of course they would try changing his mind. He’d known Norm would stall for time, just so he could spend several more precious hours with his father. But he had to put his foot down. No more catch, no going to the cafe. 

They were going straight home. 

Perry grabbed Heinz’s hand to lead him away. Norm could find his own way to DEI. He’d managed on his own before. Besides, he’d never had a problem with it. But Heinz didn’t budge. 

When Perry turned around, there was a dangerous edge in Heinz’s glare that told him he’d crossed a line. “Perry the Platypus,” he said, far too calmly. “Are you suggesting that I abandon my son?” 

Perry growled at the accusation. He’d never suggest such a horrible thing. And since when did Heinz actually call Norm his son voluntarily? 

“Don’t give me that,” Heinz snapped. “I was abandoned once. I won’t ever let Norm and Vanessa feel like that. Do you know how horrible it feels? There’s an emptiness that you can’t explain, but it’s there. Believe me, it’s there.” 

So this version had Heinz’s protective instincts too. Out of all the things on Perry’s list, dealing with an angry father was not one of them. His gut told him not to fight Heinz when his papa wolf side emerged. Doing so would be absolutely disastrous to his health. 

He decided to call this battle a loss before it started. Perry walked up to Norm, bowing his head in apology. 

Norm’s mouth instantly flipped up. “APOLOGY ACCEPTED. WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME WITH US?” 

Perry nodded. 

Heinz glanced at him in surprise. “Norm, are you sure about this? He just hurt you!” 

“MY SENSORS DETECT SINCERITY IN HIS GESTURE. I CAN’T HOLD A GRUDGE.” 

“Well, I guess it’s okay then,” Heinz said, turning to Perry with a slight frown. “I’m still kind of mad at you though. You’re paying for your own tea.” 

Perry smiled back. He could accept that punishment. Then he held up his hands in a ‘T’ shape. 

“Well, I already set my condition, so I guess using the to-go line is a fair compromise,” Heinz admitted. 

Perry held up his finger, then handed his phone to Heinz, with Vanessa’s contact info already pulled up. 

 

* * *

 

 

Vanessa’s cell phone rang while she looked over for the blueprints for a third time. She glanced at the screen, wondering why Perry had chosen call instead of text as his form of communication. 

“Hello?” she asked, expecting a platypus sound that nobody but her dad could understand. 

“Hi, Vanessa! Listen sweetie, we’re picking up a few things from that hipster cafe you like. Did you want anything?” 

She glanced over to the motionless shell on the couch across the room, then back to her phone in disbelief. 

“Hello? Are you still there?” 

“Yeah, still here. Could I just get a caramel latte?” she said quickly. 

“No problem. How are you feeling?” 

Vanessa smiled at the concern. Normally she would’ve brushed it off, but now that she could hear his voice again, it was a welcome reprieve from the silence. “Better. Much better. And I’m not elaborating no matter how much you ask.” 

“All right, I promise I won’t push it,” Heinz promised. “I’m giving the phone back to Perry the Platypus. See you in a bit! I love you!” 

“Okay,” Vanessa replied. “Love you too.” 

He said he wouldn’t push it, and he kept to his word. That was more than a little strange. 

A platypus growl came from the other end of the line. 

“Thanks, Perry,” she breathed. “Anyway, I found the blueprints for that machine in the lab. Thought I’d let you know so you can look at them when you get back. Okay, I’m gonna hang up now. Bye.” 

She set her phone down, sighing in relief. She didn’t see eye to eye with her dad most of the time, but trusting Perry for important tasks was the one thing they could wholeheartedly agree on. 

She had highlighted several of the margins that contained potentially important details in them, but one in particular stood out to her as the most worrisome. 

_The Aspect-inator: Get rid of unsavory aspects of personality from target. Maybe target will be hated less afterwards._


	4. Scientist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for late chapter. Last two months of school were crazy. I’m on summer vacation now so that means more time to write!

“Vanessa, we’re back! I have the caramel latte you wanted!” Heinz called. She stood up from her spot on the floor, stretching her arms and accepting her drink with a grateful smile. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted to add any milk or sugar, so I grabbed a few extra packets. They’re in the bag if you want them.” 

Perry sipped his tea, trying to keep his expression neutral as he glanced at the despondent lump on the couch. 

“Sorry that your father-son day at the park got cut short,” Vanessa said, exchanging a look with Perry. If they were going to discuss the blueprints, they needed to do it without interference. “Maybe you and Norm should go play Kleptocracy! I’d join you, but I have a project and I need Perry’s help for it.” 

“I CALL DIBS ON THE CAT BURGLAR PIECE,” Norm announced. 

Heinz nodded. “Okay, but if you change your mind, you’re welcome to join us! We’ll play in Norm’s closet, just so you can concentrate without hearing us get all competitive.” 

“Yeah, that would be great,” Vanessa agreed, exchanging a glance with Perry. He was surprised that Heinz didn’t push for details on their little “project”. Heinz grabbed the board game from a box and headed into the large closet. 

Norm’s smile seemed to grow a thousand times brighter, even though he was limited on facial expressions. “MY TRANSMISSIONS INDICATE CONTRADICTORY ELEVATED LEVELS OF JOY AND DISAPPOINTMENT. I WISH IT COULD BE LIKE THIS FOREVER.” 

Then he followed Heinz into the closet, leaving Perry and Vanessa alone. 

“So, Dad not being nosy. Definitely weird,” Vanessa commented. She spread a set of blueprints along the floor, along with several highlighters and a small notepad. “Did Norm give you a hard time?” 

Perry shrugged. He could understand why Norm was so hesitant about this situation, especially since Heinz wouldn’t be so keen on spending time with him once he was back to normal. 

Would Heinz even remember these events? 

“It’s called the Aspect-inator,” Vanessa explained as Perry scanned over the highlighted portions of the notes. “So from what I gather, there are multiple aspects of Dad walking around town that represent a specific part of his personality. And depending on what part they represent, their characteristics might be a little more exaggerated since there isn’t another facet to balance it out. Like how the one with Norm was acting more paternal to him than normal. Or maybe it could go the other way too.” 

The shell of Heinz didn’t move. Perry wasn’t sure why he kept sneaking glances. He was perfectly aware that the shell wasn’t going to do anything other than sit there. Maybe it was just a fleeting hope that he’d actually do something. 

“So if Norm’s diary is accurate, there’re four more aspects out there,” Vanessa said. Perry frowned, holding up five fingers. He could’ve sworn she mentioned seven aspects. Vanessa hid a tiny smile behind her hand. “Relax. There’s only six of them. You were counted as the seventh dad. At least, that’s my interpretation. I’m not sure what he meant by ‘not a grown up though.’ I assumed that meant you, considering how you aren’t a human grown up.” 

Perry tilted his fedora over his eyes to hide his embarrassment, hoping that Vanessa didn’t pick up on it. Sure, it was probably his responsibility to make sure Heinz wasn’t too harsh on Norm, and there were still several communication issues to iron out, but he never thought he was actually playing a parental role to a robot.

“Hey, Norm’s the one who said it. Not me,” Vanessa said. She turned to an empty page in the notepad. “So, now we need to figure out possible aspects of Dad. We can keep an eye out that way. Maybe one that has all the evil parts?” 

Perry hoped that the evil aspect wasn’t concentrated in a single Heinz. The Other-Dimension-inator had given him too much experience with those. 

He stared down at the sketch of the Aspect-inator. An important part of Heinz’s brand of evil was the invention itself. Heinz took it upon himself to fully detail how it functioned, why he’d built it, and who he planned to target. Perry only concerned himself with the finished product. 

But he couldn’t imagine how much planning it took to build even one inator. Gathering the materials, writing the speech and musical number, and practicing the routine with a prop expended a lot of effort too. 

Although Perry gave Heinz a lot of flack for overlooking the obvious, he was impressed with how the scientist seemed to notice the tiniest detail when it came to making every fight unique. 

Perry hastily scribbled an explanation on the notepad, then took off in a hurry. He knew where to go next.

* * *

 

_Scientist._

It seemed so obvious in hindsight. Vanessa rolled up the blueprints and stored them in a drawer for safekeeping. Perry was going to the hardware store that offered great deals on self-destruct buttons. She’d only been to that particular store once to pick up a gift basket for Father’s Day. But from what she’d seen, it was practically an inventor’s paradise with their low prices and great deals. 

Since she had nothing else to do for the time being, Vanessa figured joining her dad and Norm in a game of Kleptocracy wouldn’t hurt. She needed the mental break anyway. 

“Hey guys,” Vanessa said as she entered the closet. Norm acknowledged her with a wave, then brought a mechanical hand to his chin in thought. “Hope you got room for one more.” 

“YOU’RE JUST IN TIME FOR MY CONUNDRUM,” Norm intoned. 

“What conundrum?” Vanessa asked. 

Heinz held a game card out to Norm, waving it enticingly. “He’s trying to decide if he wants to rob the First National Bank or leave it,” he explained. “He’s kinda hung up on the whole risk versus reward thing.” 

“Take some advice, Norm. I’ve always found that the department store spaces have better payoff. And it doesn’t take an absurdly high number on the dice roll to avoid going to jail mid-heist either,” Vanessa suggested. 

“THANKS! I WILL DECLINE THE GAME’S TEMPTING OFFER AND BE SATISFIED IN ROBBING RETAIL,” Norm announced. 

Vanessa grabbed one of the remaining tokens out of the box, a sharply-dressed gentleman thief, and placed it on the starting space. Heinz began sorting the play money for her starting amount, not bothering to point out that they were already in the middle of the game. 

She pushed away the slight twinge of guilt that she was in the middle of family bonding time with only a fraction of her dad while Perry was out there searching for the rest of him. 

It was okay. Everything always went back to a relative normal when the day ended. 

She could only hope. 

* * *

 

The scientist aspect was easy to find. All Perry had to do was hang around the aisle that contained self-destruct buttons. A basket swung from Heinz’s arm, filled with various gears and metallic bits that would soon be incorporated into an inator. 

Heinz didn’t notice Perry approaching him, since he was too busy deciding between two different brands of self-destruct buttons. “Store brand is cheaper, but the other one gives more impact when pressed,” he shrugged, then tossed both packages into the basket. “Oh, well. More for me to play around with!” 

Perry reached up and tugged on Heinz’s lab coat, finally getting his attention. 

“Ah, Perry the Platypus!” Heinz exclaimed, suddenly snatching Perry off the ground and holding him up in midair. The basket swung wildly on the crook of his arm, almost spilling some of its contents. For a moment, Perry feared that Heinz had unintentionally set off the self-destruct buttons and stiffened, bracing himself in anticipation of an explosion. 

Then he remembered that the buttons couldn’t actually go off within the covering since they had to be wired first. Perry wiggled out of Heinz’s grip, relieved that he was on the ground again. He folded his arms, angry that Heinz had picked him up without permission when there wasn’t an evil scheme to be thwarted. 

“What? Your fur is weird. I just wanted to see if it was real fur or really tiny feathers that happens to look like fur from a certain distance,” Heinz protested. “And for that matter, why is your pelt teal? I mean, it’s pretty looking and stuff, but are you part of a gene pool that has a mutation for teal fur? Cause I’m pretty sure most platypi would have brown fur. Stands out less in murky water, you know. Do you think OWCA has your family tree somewhere? I could probably hack into the database and search for it. Some people are just curious about their ancestry like that you know.” 

A couple looking at light switches further down the aisle stared at them in confusion, the wife leaning over to whisper something to her husband. Mortified at the unwanted attention, Perry grabbed Heinz’s hand and tugged him to the checkout, where they mercifully didn’t have to wait in line. 

“Will that be cash or card?” the cashier asked once all the items were scanned through. 

Heinz patted the pockets of his lab coat, chuckling nervously. “Do you take fun platypus facts in trade? I don’t think I have my wallet on me. Must’ve left it in a different lab coat.” 

The cashier raised an eyebrow. “That’s not a valid form of payment, sir. Now if you want me to hang onto these items for a bit while you run to your car and grab your wallet-” 

At that point, Perry decided that forking over a hard earned twenty was absolutely worth it if meant they would get out of there faster. Heinz definitely owed him after this though. 

Though the cashier was confused at performing the transaction with a platypus, he handed Perry his change without any complaint and handed over their items. 

“Thanks for paying!” Heinz exclaimed. “I should have enough for at least two small inators. Where do you keep your wallet exactly?” 

Perry sighed at yet another question he was unwilling to answer. He could only hope that the rest of the aspects wouldn’t drain the rest of his wallet. 

“You’re not overheating, right?” Heinz suddenly asked, running his hand through Perry’s fur. “Cause your fur is all sticky and stuff. Is that milk? That’s actually kinda cool.” 

Then the subject was suddenly forgotten when Heinz sat on a nearby bench and began tinkering with the parts he bought. Perry figured the scientist aspect contained all of Heinz’s curiosity, in addition to his lack of regard for personal boundaries. 

And of course, the gift of inventing. In just a short amount of time, Heinz had already put together the barrel of a small inator. It was quite impressive actually. Catching Perry watching him intently, Heinz shifted awkwardly. “You wanna watch me? Don’t think I ever had an audience watching me invent before. Kind of embarrassing, you know? Anyway, so this is a Color Change-inator. At least, it’s gonna be. Not really finished yet, but once this baby is up and functioning I won’t ever have to manually paint a room again! Take that, paint swatches that all look alike in the home decor section!” 

Perry sent a quick text to Vanessa, letting her know that he’d found the next aspect and would be back soon. 

As he watched Heinz add the trigger, he wondered if they could ask him to work on repairing the Aspect-inator. Granted, he wasn’t exactly sure how they would go about recombining Heinz, but it was worth a shot. 

* * *

 

Vanessa had just laid claim to the Fort Knox space when she heard the unmistakable sound of a jetpack coming from the balcony. She stood up quickly and rushed out to meet Perry, not caring that her play money had blown all over the board. 

An aspect was wearing and curiously examining Perry’s jetpack, even though Perry was clearly determined to stop him from toggling any of the sensitive switches that lined the sides. 

“This is the scientist aspect, right?” Vanessa asked. 

Perry nodded, giving one final pull before the jetpack came off. “Hey, I was looking at that! That’s just rude!” Heinz frowned. 

“FOUR OUT OF SEVEN DADS. YOU ARE SLIGHTLY MORE THAN HALFWAY THERE TO DESTROYING THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE,” Norm said, walking towards the scientist with his hand extended in a friendly greeting. “HELLO, SCIENCE DAD. MY NAME IS NORM.” 

“Hey, why’s everyone gathering out here?” the father aspect called, poking his head out of the closet. “We’re not finished with the-” 

He trailed off the moment he caught sight of his other self. His eyes narrowed dangerously. “You! Get away from my son! Haven’t you hurt him enough?” 

The Scientist threw up his hands defensively. “This is my first time seeing him, I swear! And besides, he’s made of silicon and titanium! He can’t feel physical pain!” 

The Father stalked across the room, shoving his face into the Scientist’s. “Maybe not, but pain can be more than just physical. If you don’t want me to experiment, then you should leave him alone.” 

“He’s a talking robot!” the Scientist snapped. “You can’t possibly expect me to just ignore that! Besides, inventions can always be improved.” 

“Norm doesn’t need improvement!” the Father yelled, pulling his arm back, his fist clenched. Vanessa gasped, and Perry lunged forward and tackled him to the ground. The Father yelled as his head smacked against the couch, then he reared up with a pillow and tried to slam it on Perry. 

As the scuffle continued, Vanessa pulled the Scientist to his feet and led him to the lab, only pausing to grab the blueprints. “Sorry about him,” Vanessa sighed. “He can be kinda overprotective. Well, he’s always overprotective but even worse than usual.” 

“It’s fine,” the Scientist said, wincing at the crashes that erupted from outside. “I don’t see what he’s so worked up about. Norm’s got an interesting build. Who wouldn’t want to innovate him a little further?” 

Vanessa rolled her eyes. That was exactly the line of thinking that landed him in trouble in the first place. She handed him the blueprints and pointed him to the machine in the back of the room. “Anyway, if you stay here and rebuild the machine on the blueprints, I’ll keep Dad from following through on his threat. And don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.” 

The Scientist ignored her, already more interested in the complicated equations that lined the margins of the blueprints. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shell: Physical functions only. A vegetable. 
> 
> Father: Nice to Norm and Vanessa, cheery when he's with family. Gets enraged when someone hurts Norm or Vanessa, even if it's unintentional and they have no other option. 
> 
> Scientist: Curious, but no personal bubble. Isn't hostile to Norm, but thinks of him as an invention rather than a son.


	5. Performer

Perry gestured for Norm to restrain the Father until he calmed down. Norm eagerly obeyed, wrapping his dad in an enormous hug that lifted him off the ground. 

“Get out here right now so we can talk about this like  _mensch_!” the Father howled, thrashing in Norm’s grip. “And if I find you treating my daughter like a science experiment, I’ll-well, I don’t know what I’ll do yet, but once I think up something it’s gonna be painful!” 

“Seriously, Dad. I’m fine. No weird cybernetics or wires on me,” Vanessa complained as she emerged from the lab. “He’s working on a few things in the lab, so don’t bother him.” 

Norm lowered the Father so that he was standing again, though he still scowled in the direction of the lab. 

“Hey, you two wanna watch a movie with me?” Vanessa suggested. “We can lipsync along to a non-subtitled foreign film and make up our own plot. I’ve done it with Norm before. He’s a master at plot twists.” 

“ROBERT WAS NOT A LIZARD PERSON AS DR. PIERCE ORIGINALLY SUSPECTED. HE WAS ACTUALLY A SNAKE PERSON.” 

Perry was glad that Vanessa knew exactly how to keep everyone occupied so they didn’t murder each other before the problem was fixed. The Father settled on the edge of the couch so he could be next to Norm. 

Vanessa sorted through a stack of DVDs until she found the movie, then turned on the TV. A reporter’s face popped up onscreen, an angry frown crossing her face at the overly cheery soundtrack behind her. 

“It’s National Kiss a Baby on the Forehead Day at City Hall, and lots of families are in line to see Mayor Roger Doofenshmirtz select one lucky infant from the crowd-ACK!” the reporter ducked when a guitar handle nearly clocked her in the shoulder. “I need security over here!” 

“Hey, you guys are cameramen, right?” a familiar voice asked. Suddenly another Heinz Doofenshmirtz appeared onscreen, and the camera jiggled as it was forcibly turned towards him. He was wearing that showboater hat again. Must’ve been in a musical number mood. 

“Hey man, this is expensive equipment!” someone protested. 

“C’mon, the speech isn’t starting for another twenty minutes. That’s plenty of time for a song!” Heinz exclaimed. “Oh, actually I got the number from the Chorus Girl Union here, lemme make a call! Then you can broadcast my message to the Tri-State Area! You hear that? You’ll be under my rule, and nobody can stop me!” He frowned. “I think I kinda overdo that last part with the whole ‘nobody can stop me now’ bit. Could I get a do-over?” 

“HI, CONVENIENTLY TIMED DAD!” Norm said, waving at the screen as though the Heinz on TV could hear him. 

“I guess you’d better get him before he does anything too crazy,” Vanessa sighed. “I thought the whole take over the Tri-State Area thing was in the aspect you just brought back.” 

“He’s not exactly a good role model,” the Father said. “You two aren’t hogging the spotlight like that if the cameras ever get turned on you.” 

“Norm can have my share of airtime. I don’t really care for cameras,” Vanessa said as she popped the movie into the DVD player.

Perry jumped off the couch and headed for the balcony. He opted for his glider this time, since he wanted to conserve the fuel in his jetpack. 

As he flew towards City Hall, he wondered if Vanessa and Norm would accept him calling this particular Heinz the ‘obnoxious aspect’. 

* * *

Perry decided to wait out the musical number in a nearby bush, one where he would be hidden from view but still have a front row seat to the musical number Heinz had put on. Thankfully, the reporters had moved onto interviewing the volunteers in charge of the event and were completely ignoring Heinz. OWCA would definitely get on Perry’s case if he allowed a fight to be broadcasted live to the general public. 

With any luck, the Flynn-Fletchers were pursuing their own activities and not paying attention to the local news. 

Perry could tell it wasn’t one of Heinz’s best performances. Heinz kept glancing over his shoulder towards the cameras, barely avoiding a high kick to the head from a backup dancer. Instead of focusing on the music, he was trying to be aware of his surroundings. 

Almost as if he expected someone to show up. 

Perry double-checked to make sure the cameras were far away. Then he crawled out of the bush, making sure Heinz spotted him. For the duration of the song, Perry sat attentively and listened to Heinz pour out all his frustrations about his brother being a natural people-pleaser. 

Heinz’s performance improved in just a few seconds now that he had an audience. The song reached a final crescendo and ended with Heinz and the backup singers striking a dramatic pose. 

Perry clapped politely, throwing in a whistle for good measure. 

The backup singers broke form and were about to leave when Heinz stopped them. “Hey, so if one of you is interested in a date-” Heinz began, but they  rolled their eyes at him and left at a much quicker pace than before. “Okay, I get it. My number’s on the list of clients if you need to mull it over a bit first!” 

Perry raised an eyebrow at him. 

“What?” Heinz protested. “A normal dinner date would probably be two hours. That’s plenty of time to get through the introductory phase! But I’m digressing. Anyway, you see this crowd, Perry the Platypus?” 

It was hard to miss, Perry thought. But he played along anyway, figuring this aspect was the one who valued their usual routine the most. He nodded. 

“They’re all lined up to give my brother Roger their full, undivided attention and their babies,” Heinz complained, gesturing to the gaggle of parents and children. “Why would you just hand your kid over to a total stranger? This whole National Kiss a Baby Day doesn’t make sense! And what’s worse is that one so-called lucky infant will get all this fame simply because Roger is holding him! And what did the kid do to earn it? Nothing! When the voters see how much of a baby magnet he is, they’ll keep him in office cause apparently holding a baby makes you trustworthy!” 

Perry glanced around, but didn’t see any inventions anywhere. Heinz didn’t seem to have a portable inator on his person either. There probably wasn’t one since the Scientist had Heinz’s inventiveness. 

At the same time, it didn’t seem right to cut to the actual fighting. 

“Perry the Platypus,” Heinz said. “Did…did you like that song? I just had to let it out, you know? Nobody else wanted to stop and listen. They don’t appreciate hard work, I think.”

Perry gave him a thumbs-up and an encouraging nod, which seemed to boost Heinz’s spirit. 

“Maybe we should find an adoring crowd elsewhere,” Heinz suggested. “You can be my musical buddy. Unless you know anyone who’d be willing to listen?” 

Nodding, Perry took Heinz by the hand and led the way back to the penthouse. 

* * *

Vanessa knew that most siblings fought over the bathroom, but seeing it occur with two copies of her dad was just downright awkward and embarrassing. 

“AT LEAST NONE OF YOUR FRIENDS WILL BE WITNESS TO THIS DISPLAY, UNLIKE THE TIME HE PICKED YOU UP FROM SCHOOL IN A BABY BONNET AND DIAPER,” Norm declared. 

“I’ve blocked 95% of that incident from my mind, Norm,” Vanessa muttered. “Please don’t mention it again.” 

She turned up the volume to drown out the ruckus the Father and Scientist were causing. The Shell slumped against the couch cushion on the opposite end, and Vanessa had no idea if he was actually paying attention to the movie. 

“Didn’t Vanessa put you to work or something?” the Father demanded as he pounded on the bathroom door. “And just how is Norm supposed to learn any work ethic if you’re goofing off in there?” 

“Geez, calm down!” the Scientist yelled back. “Can’t a guy take a bathroom break?” 

“You got thirty seconds and I’m counting down. Thirty, twenty-nine, twenty-eight….” 

“Norm, if I step out for a few minutes can you promise me that you’ll prevent any explosions or murders?” Vanessa sighed, deciding that she really needed to clear her head for a bit. She stood up and stretched, grabbing her phone off the nearby table.

“OKAY!” Norm exclaimed. “PLEASE TAKE THE CARDBOARD CUTOUT OF A COFFEE SHOP I CREATED AND PUT IT IN FRONT OF THE ENTRANCE OF THE BUILDING SO WE CAN DELAY PERRY THE PLATYPUS SO I CAN CONTINUE HAVING FUN WITH DAD.” 

Vanessa shook her head. “That’s not going to work on Perry and you know it.” 

The Scientist had stepped out of the bathroom to continue his argument with the Father, and Vanessa ignored them both as she exited the room. Grateful for the peace and quiet of the hallway, she decided to just wait outside for a few minutes. 

She checked her phone, finding that Perry had sent a text while she was watching the movie to let her know that he’d found another aspect. They were locating them at a decent pace, so hopefully this entire mess would be put behind them soon. 

_Get rid of unsavory aspects of personality from target._

There were plenty of things about her dad she could name that embarrassed her. Sometimes he could be overprotective to the point of dressing up as a hippie and thinking that would fool a bunch of teenagers. 

Then again, he did save them all from a swarm of bees. And he did know a few tricks about roasting marshmallows over a campfire to make them taste even better. 

He could be obsessive about his schemes, and often spouted platypus and ocelot fun facts at completely inappropriate times. Her friend Candace fangirled over Ducky Momo and her boyfriend’s band a ton, so she found it pretty alarming that he acted more like a teenage girl than an adult. 

But since his brand of evil wasn’t all that malicious, sometimes good things came out, even if they were unexpected. She grew to enjoy being a big sister to a robot after all. Perry was a great confidant, no matter how trivial a problem seemed. And her Mary McGuffin doll was a reminder that he loved her to the point of spending nearly a decade rummaging through any garage sales in the hopes of finding a silly discontinued toy. 

In the end, she wouldn’t trade her dad for anything in the world. 

“Perry’s probably back by now,” Vanessa said to nobody in particular. Hopefully the aspects had given up their fight. Besides, she needed to check on the progress of the rebuilt Aspect-inator. 

“He’s probably just gonna run off again when you give him the opportunity. He never sticks around for the aftermath,” a voice sneered. “No surprise that Perry the Platypus overlooked me just like everyone else. And I never even left Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated.” 

Vanessa turned around, her eyes widening in surprise. An aspect of Heinz Doofenshmirtz had been in the building the entire time and they hadn’t even noticed. 


	6. Thoughtless

Aside from a permanent frown, the aspect didn’t have any distinguishing traits that separated him from the normal Heinz Doofenshmirtz. But Vanessa didn’t like the way his eyes bore through her, scrutinizing her every move as he waited for her to make a mistake. 

Well, she wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction. 

“Alright, back into the penthouse you go,” Vanessa said, not giving him time to react. 

Heinz scowled at her. “Don’t even think about buttering me up just so you can get a tattoo. Cause it’s not working.” 

“What? No! I don’t care about that stupid tattoo right now!” Vanessa protested, finally getting the door open. She quickly pulled the aspect inside before he had the chance to escape.

He waggled his finger at her, as if he were scolding a naughty child. “Don’t lie to me, Vanessa. You can’t wait to be independent. But you’ll just run off to who knows where and leave me behind. That’s the way it works.” 

The others weren’t nearly as difficult to handle, even though they fought all the time. 

Vanessa turned away, deciding to break up the fight between the Father and the Scientist so that she could preserve some of her sanity. While her dad lacked a filter at the best of times, he wasn’t usually so direct about his varying issues. From what she’d observed of nemesis battles, Perry usually had to pick out the real problem from a bunch of trivial, rambling fillers. 

“Can’t a guy just install modifications to the showerhead so the water will be the perfect temperature in peace?” the Scientist complained. 

The Father scowled, his eyebrows knitting dangerously together. “I don’t want my kids to be blown up by a self-destruct button in the shower! Do you even hear yourself right now?” 

“Norm won’t even fit in the tub! He’ll be fine! I wonder what kind of circuitry he’s got that makes him waterproof….” 

“You’re not treating Norm like a science experiment!” 

Before the Father could lunge at the Scientist, Vanessa stepped in between them. Holding both aspects at arm’s length, she glared at the Father in disapproval. He leveled one last threatening stare at the Scientist before backing off. 

“Both of you knock it off,” Vanessa said sternly, before turning to the Scientist. “And you should be getting back to the repairs.” 

The Scientist perked up. “I’m almost done with the barrel. Maybe a fresh coat of paint wouldn’t hurt either. I’m thinking forest green. Not too hard on the eyes like neon green, and definitely not ugly to look at like army green.”

“Yeah, you do that,” Vanessa agreed. 

The newest aspect folded his arms, scoffing at the Scientist as he stopped to gather several bolts that were lying around on his way back to the lab. “You’re really gonna let this guy build a machine for you? He’ll ruin everything with a self-destruct button. Or blow up cause he matched the wrong wires. Or it won’t function as expected. You’re banking on way too much.” 

“I can try again,” the Scientist muttered stubbornly. “With a few minor adjustments-” 

“The physical parts don’t matter,” the aspect said cruelly. “No matter how many times you’ve checked your math, no matter how many times you tighten a screw, the results always end in failure.” 

Norm raised his finger to interrupt the tirade. “AT LEAST DAD BLOWS UP AND DOESN’T GIVE UP,” he stated bravely. 

The Father grabbed Norm’s arm, tugging him in the direction of the closet. “I appreciate the spirit, Norm, but maybe we should just go into the closet for the time being. You can pick the game this time.”

Now that the aspect’s attention had been directed away from him, the Scientist stood up and made a break for the safety of the lab. 

“As for you,” the aspect snapped. “Stop pretending Norm is your son. He’s a hunk of scrap. There’s nothing that separates him from any other inator.” 

Norm’s permanent smile flipped downwards, and he took a step backwards. 

Before Vanessa could react, the Father launched himself at the thoughtless aspect, knocking him onto his back. 

She couldn’t find a better word to describe him. 

Thoughtless. 

As the two aspects hurled insults and used the nearby furniture as projectiles, Vanessa could only hope Perry was coming soon. She averted her gaze, doing the only thing she could. 

“Come on, let’s find something to do,” Vanessa said, leading Norm away from the battle. 

Interfering would only cause more pain. And she wasn’t keen on taking Perry’s job. 

* * *

After dragging the Performer away from five different pedestrians who didn’t have the time to listen to a monologue or song, they’d finally reached the door to the penthouse. 

“Not exactly grand, but I guess everyone’s gotta start somewhere,” the Performer commented. “At least it’s lively.” 

There was a loud crash on the other side, which worried Perry. His mind jumped to several possibilities, and none of them were good. He didn’t bother with the keys, and simply went for a well-aimed kick that broke the door off its hinges. 

“You should really perform with me sometime. Those kicks would completely dazzle an audience! Really, chorus girls don’t hold a candle to that sort of thing,” the Performer suggested. “Whoa, are those guys stuntmen or something?” 

Two aspects were throwing every piece of furniture they could reach at each other. 

“So you think you’re actually a good father, huh?” the other aspect jeered. The Father paled, rubbing his arms in an attempt to reassure himself. “Maybe if you hadn’t leeched off Charlene during your short-lived marriage, you could’ve had a whole family. You wouldn’t be stuck living on alimony for the rest of your life. You could’ve seen your daughter every day. Home movies, reading to her, comforting her. You couldn’t even give something as simple as that to her!” 

Perry had heard enough. He stormed up to the other aspect, who still hadn’t let up on the harsh insults. Perry swept his tail forcefully against the other aspect’s knees, sending him tumbling to the ground. Feeling his phone buzz with a text message, Perry quickly pinned one of the aspect’s arms behind his back as a warning. 

_Found another aspect but couldn’t text you right away. Sorry bout that. Calling him Thoughtless cause everything out of his mouth is an insult. Norm and I are in the storage closet. Don’t worry, we got games here._

_-Vanessa_

Perry sent her a thumbs up emoji and put his cell phone away. 

The Performer was already leading the Father away, trying to lighten the mood with some nonsensical rant against plastic flamingos. Perry waited for them to leave the room, then he released his hold on Thoughtless. 

“Oh like you’re any better than the rest of them,” Thoughtless snapped. “Why don’t you leave too? Go on. Find some other nemesis who’s higher on the threat scale. Get a higher paycheck from breaking their toys.” 

Perry folded his arms. Heinz should’ve known him better than that. OWCA could send him on a literal wild goose chase, refuse to let him take vacation days, or reassign him to a completely new area without his consent all they wanted. But his heart belonged to the Flynn-Fletcher and Doofenshmirtz family entirely.

Nothing the agency did could change that. 

“Besides, what do you need me for? Absolutely nothing,” Thoughtless sighed. 

Thinking of nothing else he could do, Perry placed on a hand on Thoughtless’s knee and squeezed. 

* * *

“NOW THAT YOU ARE 83.3% CLOSER IN YOUR QUEST TO HAVE DAD NOT BE NICE TO ME ANYMORE, PLEASE TELL HIM I LOVE HIM BECAUSE HE WON’T HEAR IT FROM ME,” Norm declared. “DO YOU HAVE ANY SEVENS?” 

Vanessa picked through the wad of cards in her hand. Maybe it was time to find a robot-friendly pack that was resistant to tearing and crumpling, she thought. She handed two sevens to Norm. “You can tell him, Norm. Just do it in front of me or Perry, and we won’t let him try to wriggle his way out. Promise.” 

“OKAY, SIS. DO YOU HAVE ANY ACES?” 

“Go Fish,” Vanessa said. 

It was strange. She’d never spent so much time in the storage closet before. It needed some sprucing up. Some extra lights,a few posters, and a couple tchotchkes would do wonders for a room. Then her eyes wandered back to the cardboard flaps that served as Norm’s diary. 

They had the Shell, who existed and nothing more. 

The Father, who held nothing but love for them. 

The Scientist, with the brilliant mind and enough curiosity to kill a thousand cats. 

The Performer, who revelled in the attention his musical number brought. 

The Thoughtless, who pushed everyone away to protect himself. 

So who were they missing? 

“Norm, you saw them when Dad used the inator on himself,” Vanessa said. “Who’s the last aspect we need?” 

Norm remained silent. “IF I TELL YOU, YOU’LL TELL PERRY,” he said in the quietest voice Vanessa had ever heard from him. 

Vanessa set her cards aside, taking Norm’s large hand in her own. “I’m sorry. But you don’t have a choice. I just want to know what we can look for.” 

“IN THAT CASE, I’LL MAKE A CHOICE,” Norm told her, his usual smile flipping upside down. Smoke quickly started to pour from the soles of his feet. “I’LL FIND HIM BEFORE PERRY THE PLATYPUS AND YOU CAN’T TAKE HIM AWAY.”

Vanessa bolted for the door, barely managing to make it to the outside before the smoke enveloped the storage closet. Perry was by her side in an instant, a rare look of alarm on his face. Seconds later, a loud crash shook the entire penthouse. 

They raced out to the balcony, only to see a hole in the roof and an angry, desperate Norm in the distance. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughtless is the self-loathing side of Heinz. He lashes out at the world, which only brings further misery on himself. He hurts himself with self-defeating thoughts and the ones he loves by suggesting they abandon him.


	7. Child: Sons in Turmoil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had to divide this into sections cause it was getting long.

The commotion had drawn almost every aspect out to the balcony. The Shell remained on the couch, uncaring and infallible as always. 

“Norm doesn’t want everything to return to normal. Or as normal as it’ll ever be around here anyway,” Vanessa said quietly. Perry rubbed circles on her back, comforting her the best he could. 

He knew Norm had never been subtle about voicing his displeasure with Perry and Vanessa’s plan to retrieve the aspects. This was the longest period that Norm had received Heinz’s attention without the scolding. 

Perry perched on the edge of the balcony, motioning for everyone to stand back while he opened his glider. 

“I’ll stay with Vanessa,” the Father said, draping his arm across her shoulders and pulling her close. “I’m trusting you with Norm, Perry the Platypus. Don’t you dare hurt him more than necessary.” 

He was surprised the Father admitted hurting Norm was inevitable. Or that he hadn’t tried knocking him off the edge of the building. 

“How come you never said anything about Norm’s A.I allowing him to mimic human emotions?” the Scientist demanded. “I really need to find his instruction manual so I can know what other capabilities he has!” 

Thoughtless rolled his eyes. “It was obvious. Get your head out of your toolbox and step outside once in a while.” 

“And he’s not mimicking emotions,” the Father muttered. 

“Dad, please don’t start,” Vanessa said. “That goes for you too.” She pointed to Thoughtless, who scoffed at being singled out. 

The Performer leaned on the edge next to Perry, oblivious to the argument between the other three aspects. “There was a kid earlier. All the commotion we were making before we split up probably scared him off,” he sighed, shaking his head. “It’s like he didn’t want attention but still wanted attention. You know, when I put it that way it sounds confusing but I swear it’s true.” 

Perry gave him a thumbs-up, grateful for some information he could actually use. Then he took off, hoping this would be the final time he would need to comb through the city in search of an aspect. 

* * *

“The Aspect-inator is ready to go,” the Scientist reported. “Haven’t tested it yet. Maybe I should try hitting that pizza place down the street and try separating the ham and pineapple combo.” 

Vanessa shook her head. “Please don’t. If the OWCA sees it firing, they’ll alert Perry, or another agent. And whoever comes over might not be willing to reason.” 

The Scientist opened his mouth to protest, but thought better of it when the Father glared at him distrustfully. 

“She’s got a point,” Thoughtless admitted. “Since you’re handling the inator, I give it two seconds before it blows up in your face like literally everything else.” 

“Anyway, why are you and Perry the Platypus so focused on this mission?” the Performer asked. “The rest of these guys wouldn’t be nearly that endearing to an audience. No offense.” 

Thoughtless rolled his eyes. “I’m taking plenty of offense. Pretty sure they’re just trying to fix something we did. That’s how it usually goes. They wind up with our mess.” 

Vanessa didn’t have the energy to correct him. She sat on the opposite side of the couch from the Shell, though she didn’t find his constant silence reassuring. 

* * *

Like his dad, Norm wasn’t one for subtlety. He lay flat on his stomach, half of his body poking out from an alleyway. His legs swung up and down above the sidewalk, and several people were forced out into the street to avoid them.

“THEN I SPILLED PIPING HOT COFFEE ON THE EVIL ROBOT AND SAVED MY DAD FROM BEING PHARMACIST PUREE!” Norm exclaimed.

“Cool! I save my family from witches and evil spirits all the time, but....” a familiar squeaky voice faltered, and the conversation shifted into an uneasy lull. 

Perry landed on a building above them, quickly ducking next to a chimney for additional cover. 

A child was peeking at Norm over a small stack of cardboard boxes. His clothing was outdated by several decades, and his beak-like nose stuck comically across the surface of a box. 

Heinz only had a few childhood pictures, and they all seemed rather dull and lifeless. Because Perry had been part of countless family photos with the Flynn-Fletchers, it was almost shocking to see half an album where nobody looked happy at all.

Norm had found the last aspect, and Perry doubted he would be nearly as cordial this time. 

“BUT WHAT?” Norm asked. 

The Child shifted uncomfortably. “...they don’t say thanks. Mother says thanks to Roger. She doesn’t to me. And Father...I don’t know. He just yells.” 

“MY DAD DOESN’T SAY IT UNTIL HIS LIFE IS IN DANGER,” Norm quipped. “BUT HE SAYS I’M A PILE OF SCRAP METAL.” 

“Is being a pile of scrap metal the same as being a schnitzel?” the Child wondered. 

“SCHNITZEL GENERALLY REFERS TO MEAT THAT HAS BEEN COATED IN BEATEN EGGS, FLOUR, AND BREAD CRUMBS, THEN FRIED IN OIL OR FAT. MY SENSORS INDICATE THAT YOU ARE HUMAN AND NOT A SCHNITZEL.” 

“Um, thanks?” the Child said awkwardly, unsure of how to respond to that statement. “Piles of scrap metal can’t talk. And you work just fine.” 

Norm stood up, his mouth flipping into a grin. “THANK YOU FOR THOSE KIND WORDS. NOW THAT MY DAD’S NEGATIVE QUALITIES ARE THEIR OWN ENTITY, HE CAN NO LONGER DENY THAT I AM HIS SON. YOU’LL BE APPRECIATED AND NEVER YELLED AT AGAIN IF YOU JOIN ME.” 

He held out his hand, patiently waiting for the Child to take it. 

Perry crouched against the edge of the roof, preparing to intervene. He couldn’t allow Norm to take such drastic measures. The Child shuffled forward, a wary yet hopeful look on his face. His hand stretched forward....

Then he pulled back, looking down at the ground shamefully. 

“I can’t. I can’t just leave. They care. They’re toughening me up. They’ve gotta care if they’re doing that,” the Child’s voice quivered. 

“BUT WOULD IT KILL THEM TO SAY PLEASE AND THANK YOU?” Norm asked. 

“I don’t...I mean...sorry...” the Child stammered, taking a step back. “I don’t know what you’re getting at.” 

Perry climbed down the fire escape as fast as he could, putting himself between the Child and Norm. He spread his arms out to signal Norm to stop. 

“I KNEW YOU WOULD FOLLOW ME, PERRY THE PLATYPUS,” Norm said, forming a fist and raising it above his head. 

Perry pushed the Child to the ground, then crouched in front of him for protection. “I WARNED YOU BEFORE. DON’T TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME.” 

Now there was a possibility of dangerously injuring someone if Norm hit a building. He would have to draw Norm out into the open. It was risky though. He ran a risk being spotted by the Flynn-Fletchers. 

OWCA would probably write him up for attracting the attention of a crowd or the media, who could easily compromise his identity. 

A hand brushed his back, and Perry almost lost his balance out of surprise. He turned to see the Child timidly averting his gaze. “He’s just scared,” he mumbled. “You shouldn’t hurt him if he’s scared.” 

And Perry was reminded of another child. His optimism was both boundless and contagious, and his smile could brighten up a dark room better than any light bulb. 

The Child had the potential to be like Phineas Flynn, but his parents stifled and feared any creativity he had. 

But they never succeeded in stomping out his empathy. 

Norm hadn’t brought his fist down yet. He towered over them, but his arm remained raised. Almost as if he was waiting for something. 

Now that he knew Norm wouldn’t harm the Child, Perry couldn’t keep using him as a shield.

He tensed, keeping his eyes on the opening to the left of Norm. If he could just get out to the main road, he could minimize the damage to any structures nearby. 

After a mental count to three, Perry sprinted for the street, sliding underneath Norm’s outstretched leg as he tried to block his escape route. 

Norm’s head spun to face him before the rest of his body did. 

“I WANTED A DAY WITH MY DAD. AND I GOT IT. ONLY FOR YOU TO TAKE IT AWAY!” Norm’s voice rose, his sentences punctuated with each punch he tried to throw. 

People were already taking their phones out and recording. More joined with every second that passed. 

Perry dodged another attack, which hit the base of a tree instead. It gave Perry an idea. He just needed to find an oak surrounded by acorns to get the squirrel out of his chest cavity. 

A van with a satellite swerved around the multiple potholes, trying to get close to the action. 

OWCA was going to have his head for this. 


	8. Child: A Daughter’s Fight

“Hey, quit being useless for once and move your legs!” Thoughtless yelled after the fifth attempt of getting the Shell into the lab. The Shell didn’t budge.

“Okay, we can just leave him for now,” Vanessa said, hoping to cut in before Thoughtless directed an insult at the wrong person. “We’ll have Norm move him later.”

“Bout time that junkpile made himself useful,” Thoughtless muttered.

Vanessa glared at him. She was not in the mood to break up another fight between him and the Father. “Remote’s on the coffee table. Go watch TV or something until they come back.”

Thoughtless wordlessly snatched up the remote and turned on the TV, folding his arms like an angry child.

Honestly, why did it feel like she had to parent her own dad sometimes?

_“And in other news, a fearsome battle on the corner of Harlow and 5th Street!” an anchor shrieked. “Noah, robot fist incoming!”_

_The camera suddenly lost focus, resulting in a dizzying swirl of color as the van bounced from the numerous potholes. Once the image came back, the camera lay on its side, and Norm stomped onscreen. He punched the air, trying to hit a small teal blur that was moving too quickly for a lumbering robot like Norm._

“This is bad,” Vanessa said. She rushed to the kitchen, where the Father was getting a glass of water.

He looked up in surprise. “Something wrong?” he asked.

“Norm and Perry are fighting. We gotta stop them. I should’ve known something like this was gonna happen!” Vanessa pushed him to the door insistently. Thoughtless, the Scientist, and the Performer all glanced at them in confusion. “The rest of you stay here and don’t kill each other! We’ll be back soon!”

Everything was happening so quickly for the Father that he was unable to get a word out until they’d reached the bottom floor.

“Hold on for a sec,” he said, once Vanessa’s grip loosened on his arm. “Something’s definitely wrong.”

“Well, obviously!” Vanessa snapped. “Norm’s tearing up the streets and who knows what Perry’s thinking! We’re still missing the last aspect, and one of you is a vegetable, one is a jerk, and I don’t know about the other two but everything about this just makes me mad! Why did you have to go split yourself up with considering how the rest of us would feel about it?” 

She stalked over to a wall and rested her head against it, her breath coming out in heavy gasps.

“Yeah, we’d better take care of that,” the Father admitted. “You never said any of this before though.”

Was it bad that she almost wished her dad had the thoughtless side back? She hated her emotions getting put under a microscope. She closed her eyes, counting to ten. “Keeping the peace and helping Norm and Perry where I could were a lot more important,” she replied, barely keeping control of her tone. “Excuse me for not having time to figure out my feelings on the matter.”

“Yeah, I guess that makes sense,” the Father said, leaning on the wall next to her. “I mean, I’m around Perry the Platypus a lot, so I’m kinda used to the whole closed off deal. I don’t know everything that’s going on, but putting us all back together is really important to you, huh?” 

The Performer had asked the same question before, but this time it wasn’t aggressive. Just curious. That was all.

“Not just me,” Vanessa said. “Perry and Norm too. Dad’s kind of a package deal.”

The Father cracked a smile. “Does that mean Thoughtless is the part you can’t figure out but the product still wouldn’t work right without him?”

A laugh escaped her as she threw her arms around him in a hug. He stumbled back, then returned the gesture. “That’s surprisingly accurate.”

“We’d better go,” the Father suggested after a few seconds. “We’re still stopping them, right?”

“Yup. Ready now,” Vanessa let go of the Father and together they rushed out the door. But it was immediately clear there was no way they would be able to make it to Harlow and Fifth due to the sizable crowd that had gathered outside the building.

“Excuse me, what’s going on?” Vanessa asked a random guy who had his toddler perched on his shoulders.

“Totally Tools is having a publicity stunt!” the man exclaimed. “First time they’re showcasing that platypus in a fedora mascot. Man, they sure know how to stage an epic battle!”

Vanessa smiled politely. “Oh, cool. I guess....”

The Father just shrugged.

Well, it wasn’t the first time Vanessa had run into a group of people willing to come up with a more logical rationale to something her dad was involved in.

They managed to squeeze through the crowd, occasionally shoving someone who wouldn’t move, only to find the road blocked by several safety barricades. Norm and Perry had both taken to the skies at some point during the battle. Perry blasted by Norm on his jetpack, pelting several small projectiles at his chest. In return, Norm fired a laser beam from his hands.

It didn’t seem like there would be a clear winner at all.

Then she noticed people whispering and pointing to something that wasn’t related to the aerial fight.

“Lemme through! They gotta stop fighting!” a child screamed as he tried to climb over the safety barricades. His clothes were much too old-fashioned for modern Danville, and they practically hung off his scrawny frame.

And she would recognize that pointy nose anywhere.

A woman was already trying to console him, but he looked more frightened at her attempts and barely seemed to know where he was.

Vanessa nudged the Father, who was just as frustrated as she was. “Look over there. He’s the last aspect,” Vanessa pointed to the kid.

The Father’s eyes softened the moment he saw the child. “Yeah, I recognize him. He ran off after Thoughtless called him a crybaby. I still haven’t got back at him for that yet.”

“Great. We grab him now, and you can satisfy your thirst for vengeance later,” Vanessa said, making her way to the front of the crowd.

“Don’t do that. You’ll hurt yourself that way,” the woman chided gently. “Where are your parents, sweetie?”

“I don’t know! I just want them to stop fighting!”

The woman chuckled. “Oh, nobody’s in danger. It’s just a publicity stunt. Children these days.”

The Child made a face at her. “I never said I wanted your help, lady!”

Yup, this was definitely her dad as a kid. Vanessa resisted the urge to laugh at the woman’s shocked expression.

“Hey, we’ve got it from here,” Vanessa said to the woman, before the Child could get the chance to bolt. “My little brother and I got separated from the crowd.”

“He’s not your-” Vanessa elbowed the Father before he could reveal the lie. The woman glanced at him in confusion. “-um, what I meant to say is that he’s not your responsibility and you shouldn’t beat yourself up for losing him! Yeah, that’s what I was gonna say.”

Okay, she seriously needed to help him improve his lying skills later.

“You know them?” the woman asked the Child.

He didn’t reply, and resumed his attempt to climb over the barricade.

“He gets nervous around strangers,” Vanessa explained. “Thanks for finding him.”

“She better not go trying to abduct him off the streets,” the Father muttered.

“I guess I can’t argue with the genetic similarities,” the woman admitted. “Keep an eye on him next time, will you?” As she left, the Child stuck his tongue out at her.

“Listen, we want to stop the battle just as much as you,” Vanessa explained. “You can trust us.” 

The Child finally managed to hike one leg over the barricade, but he overbalanced and would’ve smacked his head on the concrete if the Father hadn’t caught him by the collar in time.

“Do you know how they started fighting?” Vanessa asked once the Child’s legs were safely back on the ground.

He scuffed the ground with one shoe. “The robot wanted me to leave my family. But I couldn’t cause they need me to protect them from the witches and wood trolls!” 

Vanessa was about to tell him that witches and wood trolls didn’t exist, but the Father lowered himself to eye level of the Child before she could say anything. 

“Listen, you help us get those two to stop their battle and we’ll help you get back to your family,” the Father said gently. “Your  _real_ family.”

The Child stared at him, biting his lip nervously as he weighed his options. He didn’t have a lot to begin with. Vanessa glanced up at the sky again. Norm fired a laser beam from his chest, clipping the edge of Perry’s jetpack and knocking him off-balance. 

They needed to get up there fast. It took all of her restraint to not tap her foot impatiently. Her dad managed to find new ways to test her even as a kid.

“Okay. I’ll help,” the Child agreed after an eternity. “So do we just scream at them until they stop?” 

“Technically yes,” Vanessa admitted. “Maybe they’ll listen to you and Dad. There should be a flying scooter we can use somewhere in the penthouse.” 

The Father shook his head. “It’s not a bad idea, but Thoughtless will just upset the kid again. And I think the Scientist might’ve pilfered a few screws from it too. Don’t know why he couldn’t have just used the ones lying around in the toolbox.” 

“Can we take the stairs to the roof over there?” the Child asked, pointing to a nearby apartment complex. The tan building was smaller than DEI, but they would be high enough to be seen and heard. A fire escape led from the ground to the roof.

“Great eye,” the Father remarked. The Child gave him a tiny smile. Since the aerial view was blocked by a few large trees, the crowd wasn’t as thick on the sidewalk next to the apartment complex. Once they reached the fire escape, they began their ascent. 

The Child kept glancing back in the direction of the crowd, tripping several times over the steps. “Are they watching me?” he asked. “I don’t want them to.” 

“No worries. I know a guy. If anyone’s watching you, I’ll just have him make a Blind-inator to teach them not to gawk!” the Father declared. 

“He uses inator for his stuff too?” the Child asked. “I ran through a year’s worth of paper trying to come up with a name for a machine that fires lasers into space! I mean, a year’s worth is three sheets so Father was furious at me for that one. I got thirty hours of lawn gnome duty with no break.” 

Vanessa tuned out the rest of the conversation, deciding that she didn’t want to be sucked into the tales of her dad’s weird and disturbing childhood. 

The moment her boots hit the top step, she called out to Norm and Perry. “Guys! Get down here now!” 

Norm ignored them. However, Perry took notice and gestured at her to find cover. 

“I’m not finding cover, Perry!” Vanessa protested. “Norm needs to hear this!” 

“Be careful, sweetie,” the Father urged. Sensing the danger of the situation, the Child hid underneath the Father’s labcoat. 

“OKAY SIS, LET’S TALK,” Norm said in his cheery monotone, landing on the roof with a heavy thud. He didn’t retract his arsenal though. “CONGRATULATIONS ON FINDING THE LAST ASPECT WITHOUT ME TELLING YOU.” 

“There were plenty of hints,” Vanessa shrugged. It was almost a normal sibling conversation. 

Perry planted himself next to Vanessa in a fighting stance. 

“Perry, it’s okay,” Vanessa said, hoping that she didn’t have to placate him as well. He dropped the pose, but remained tense. “Norm, I’m sorry. I understand why you’d rather keep Dad separated. I definitely appreciated the dad aspect considering my feelings more, without Thoughtless getting in the way of an important conversation. But I think you know perfectly well that we can’t keep him like this. And neither can you go around destroying the city.” 

“I CAN SETTLE FOR NEGOTIATIONS,” Norm declared. “ONE MORE WEEK AND YOU CAN USE THE MACHINE THEN.” 

“We are not negotiating this,” Vanessa said sternly. “We’re reversing the effects now.” 

Norm took several steps forward, until he towered over Vanessa. She didn’t flinch, and stared straight up at him. “YOU ARE MY SISTER, AND I WOULD LIKE TO USE THE DIPLOMATIC APPROACH WITH YOU.” 

She was done being patient. Hearing Norm using the sibling excuse was tiring. “Just because I’m your sister doesn’t mean I have to agree with you! You need to learn that, Norm! People have minds and feelings of their own. It’s about time you took them into consideration!” 

“YOU NEVER SEEM INTERESTED IN SPENDING TIME WITH DAD,” Norm retorted. “HE GETS UPSET SO I TRY TO BE HIS SON.” 

Vanessa sighed and looked at Perry, who watched the entire exchange silently. It was hard to read his expression. It was true that she wasn’t particularly interested in evil, and that she had an image to maintain among her peers. He had custody every other weekend, but somehow he still tried to find a way to be involved in her life. 

“Norm’s right about this, isn’t he?” Vanessa asked. 

Perry nodded.

“I guess we all have things to work on then,” she said. “If I promise to spend more time with you guys in the future, will you promise to allow us to use the Aspect-inator?” 

“DEAL,” Norm said. “I WILL TRY TO BE MORE CONSIDERATE.” 

“So, no more fighting?” the Child finally let go of the Father and approached Norm. 

“WE ARE FINISHED WITH OUR BATTLE,” Norm stated. “I ENJOYED OUR CONVERSATION IN THE ALLEY. WE SHOULD HAVE MORE HEART TO SQUIRREL HEARTS IN THE FUTURE.” 

“I have no idea what that means, but okay!” the Child exclaimed. 

The Father rested his hand on Norm’s leg. “After you zap us and Thoughtless rears his geometric head and starts calling Norm a junkpile, give him a few smacks for me, Perry the Platypus.” Perry tipped his hat in agreement. “I mean, the other guys aren’t so bad at least. Even if they can be attention hogs.” 

As they all piled onto Norm’s back for the short ride to DEI’s balcony, the Child glanced back at Vanessa.”How come we aren’t more hurt after that?” he asked.  

Vanessa just smiled. “That’s how it works in this penthouse, you know. Sure we fight a lot, but we all care about each other.” 

The Child still looked confused, as if that was a foreign concept for him. 

And knowing her dad, it probably was. 


	9. A Father's Promise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter!!!

The other aspects swarmed them on the balcony the moment they arrived. 

“So do you really experience feelings of anger? Were you programmed for that or is your A.I really advanced?” 

“We saw all the news coverage! Man, you should’ve taken me as well! I would’ve been amazing on the cameras!” 

“So I guess we’re all being zapped now?” Thoughtless scoffed. “You’d really trust a machine invented by that guy?” 

He gestured to the Scientist, who excitedly examined a compartment in Norm’s leg. 

Perry nodded. He trusted the machine would work as intended. Besides, the aspects could not go on as separate entities. They all functioned as part of a whole.

Vanessa knelt by the couch, holding the Shell’s hand as she tried one last time to get a reaction out of him. “We’ve got everyone now,” she said. “We can finally reverse the effects. And you know, there’s some stuff we need to talk about. A lot of stuff.”

She moved aside and allowed Norm to pick up the Shell and bring him to the lab. The Scientist followed him like an excited puppy, still asking question after question without giving Norm enough time to respond. 

“So I guess this is it,” the Performer said. He took off his showboater hat, handing it to Perry. “Keep that safe for me, will ya?” 

Perry gave him a thumbs-up. The Performer smiled back at him. 

“You guys do it without me,” Thoughtless said, scuffing the ground with his shoe. “I know you don’t want me, so don’t even try to pretend I’m included.” 

Vanessa pointed him firmly in the direction of the lab. “Nobody’s excluded,” she said. “You’re just as important as the others. You may be the annoying part who doesn’t listen to Perry and me on occasion, but we still love you.” 

Thoughtless teared up at that. “I think something got caught in my eye,” he sniffed. 

A cautious hand tapped Perry’s back, and he turned to see the Child looking at him nervously. “So how exactly do you fight with someone and care about them?” he asked. “Wouldn’t fighting mean you don’t like each other?” 

Perry shook his head. Fighting was part of the routine. It was respectful to Heinz to give the battle everything he had, but there were certain lines neither of them were willing to cross. And out of the worst battles that caused great emotional pain, they learned. Sometimes it took a while for the lessons to stick, but it was worth it.

He gently led the child to the red X in the center of the lab, where the Aspect-inator pointed. Thoughtless followed them in, though he stayed far away from the Child. The Performer and the Scientist argued over something silly as the latter fiddled with some tools that had been lying around the lab. Norm gently laid the Shell in front of the other aspects, who crowded around him curiously. 

Perry gestured for the Child to stay put, then he exited the room so he could grab the Father. 

“Thanks for the help,” he heard Vanessa say from the kitchen. “I guess it’s time then.” 

“Yeah,” the Father replied. “Still, a little bit more time would’ve been nice.” 

“It’s not like you’re going away completely,” Vanessa said, a hint of amusement in her tone. “Try not to beat up Thoughtless too much.” 

“Yeah, I’d rather not make a promise if I’m not gonna keep it,” the Father laughed. 

Perry simply waited by the couch, letting them share one last hug. He’d seen how close Vanessa had become to the Father during this ordeal. While Perry had searched around Danville, they’d looked after Norm and the other aspects. He wasn’t sure how this mission would’ve gone without their help. 

At long last, everyone was gathered in the lab. Every aspect stood on the red X, though the Father had to restrain the Scientist from inspecting Norm any further. Vanessa and Norm stood aside, anxiously waiting for the aspects to be recombined. 

Everything was in order. Perry hit the button, and an intense white light filled the room. 

* * *

 

His memory was completely blank. It was frustrating, not being able to remember the past few hours. Although the floor was pressing into his back, he didn’t want to move. He just wanted to lie down forever. 

Hazy, blobby shapes moved persistently in his vision. All three seemed to get larger, but two of them backed off. The third stayed stubbornly to the right. 

And something was poking at his eyelids. He squeezed them tighter out of spite and turned away, though the insistent prodding didn’t stop. 

“I don’t think it’s working,” a female voice said. 

The poking subsided. 

_Finally, take that Mr. I-think-it’s-perfectly-okay-to-disturb-someone-who’s-asleep!_

Only for a light, feathery finger to brush the outside of his ear, slowly inching its way to the center. 

He immediately jolted to throw off the offending appendage, the sudden movement causing his body to ache in protest. His eyes flew open, though he quickly averted his gaze to avoid the bright lights that flooded his vision. 

“Dad, you’re back!” Vanessa was smiling and laughing, but it seemed oddly strained as she wrapped him in a hug. 

Heinz propped himself up on one arm, using the other to hug Vanessa back. “What do you mean, I’m back? Not that I don’t appreciate the hug or anything. Cause I do. You mind if I sit up? Thanks.” 

“HELLO, DAD. NOW WE CAN FINALLY GO TO THE SODA SHOP TOGETHER LIKE YOU ALWAYS PROMISED,” Norm declared. 

“I don’t remember promising you anything, junkpile,” Heinz muttered. “Not that I can remember the past few hours anyway. You guys know anything about that?” 

A fist collided with his shoulder, making him wince in pain. 

Perry glared at him, hands folded across his chest. 

Vanessa let go of him as he stood up, returning Perry’s glare as best he could. “First you try to blind me, then you go sticking your finger in my ear, and if I find out you licked your finger before you did that you are so going to get it! Then you just punch me out of nowhere! Why are all of you acting so weird?” 

“Actually, one of the aspects requested that Perry punch you whenever you call Norm a junkpile,” Vanessa coughed. 

Before Heinz could ask for clarification, Perry’s watch beeped. Perry grimaced slightly, then answered it. 

“Agent P, this is a warning for breaching protocol,” Monogram said sternly. “You’re lucky the general public believed your battle with Dr. Doofenshmirtz’s robot was a publicity stunt for Totally Tools, or we would be forced to reassign you. Monogram out.” 

Perry sighed in relief. 

Now Heinz was seriously confused. “Okay, what do you mean by aspects? And why was Perry the Platypus battling Norm without me?” he gasped in realization. “Norm, you better not be stealing my nemesis!” 

“Dad, no! It’s nothing like that!” Vanessa said. “Look, can we move to the living room? This is a long story.” 

On their way out, Perry threw a screwdriver at the self-destruct button of a large machine. Then he ripped up a blueprint beyond recognition and dumped it into a wastebasket. 

Heinz couldn’t help but notice that he seemed more enraged by the plans than anything else. 

* * *

 

As Vanessa described how she’d found him in the lab unconscious, (no, an aspect of himself who was completely unresponsive and devoid of personality) Heinz was starting to realize that the Aspect-inator had affected everyone else beyond a normal thwart and run plot. No wonder Perry was so mad. 

Hadn’t he once promised to only hurt him in the right way? 

And how could he have forgotten that he had custody this weekend? He always looked forward to those two and a half days when Vanessa would be with him. Was he really that wrapped up in his inventing? 

“WE PLAYED CATCH UNTIL PERRY THE PLATYPUS SHOWED UP,” Norm declared cheerfully. “IT WAS FUN UNTIL I HAD A BREAKDOWN AND BROKE THROUGH THE ROOF OF MY CLOSET.” 

Perry grabbed his sleeve and led him to the storage closet. He pointed at the ceiling, which had a Norm-shaped hole in it. 

“You’re a terrible influence on Norm. I hope you know that,” Heinz said. “My landlord better give me a discount on this. So why’d he do it exactly? Because if this is about me not letting him see Chloe again....” 

Then Perry pointed to him. 

Heinz scoffed. “What? You’re saying I did this?”

Perry tilted his hand from side to side. 

“I don’t know what you mean by ‘kind of’,” Heinz said, throwing up his arms defensively. “Look, as much as I’d love to argue with you, I should really be hearing the rest of the story.” 

But Heinz knew that Perry meant he was a contributing cause to the hole, even though he didn’t blow it up himself. 

“DAD, EVEN IF WE DON’T SEE EYE TO EYE, I STILL LOVE YOU,” Norm said as Heinz and Perry took their seats on the couch. 

“Seriously Norm, just stop,” Heinz muttered. “Nobody’s gonna see eye to eye with you. You’re way too big.” 

Vanessa rolled her eyes. “Just say it already. We all know you’re a terrible liar.” 

Perry elbowed him. 

“Okay, I guess you do make the best muffins,” Heinz admitted, just to get everyone off his back. 

He yelped as Norm suddenly loomed over him and threatened to crush his spine in a huge, robotic hug. “I’M HAPPY THAT YOU APPRECIATE MY BAKING. NOW WE CAN HAVE A FRESH START TO OUR FATHER-SON RELATIONSHIP.”

“Yeah, sure. Don’t make it awkward, Norm,” Heinz said, wondering if he should install some heating pads and cushions into Norm to make hugging more comfortable. “You know, I’m not really sure what I did when I was building the Aspect-inator. It was supposed to erase-” 

The entire reason he’d built the Aspect-inator suddenly came flooding back to him. He thought he’d make them happier if he got rid of the parts they hated most. But since they spent the last few hours gathering all these...aspects...then maybe they wouldn’t have been as happy as he assumed. 

“Dad, what were you trying to erase?” Vanessa asked. He had a feeling that she already had a few guesses.

He barely noticed Norm setting him gently on the recliner as he struggled to think of a response that wouldn’t alarm them too much. Perry planted himself on the armrest next to him, legs crossed as he waited for Heinz to say something. 

Heinz swallowed, then forced the words through his throat as quickly as possible.“Myself,” he answered. Clearly that was the wrong thing to say, because Vanessa shot to her feet in alarm. Perry just looked at the floor.  “Not completely! Just...certain areas.”

“Like that makes it better!” Vanessa shouted. “Why can’t you think ahead for once? Instead of resorting to this!” 

“THIS EXPERIENCE HAS BEEN EMOTIONALLY DRAINING YET FUN,” Norm added. 

Perry held up a hand, signaling them both to stop. Vanessa and Norm fell silent, though they still looked anxious. Well, Norm was still smiling so it was hard to tell with him. Heinz gripped the cloth that was draped over the back of the recliner, wondering what he could even say to them. 

They definitely shouldn’t need to pick up the pieces of his emotional baggage. 

That had been selfish of him.

“I’m sorry,” Heinz said. He glanced at Perry, who motioned for him to go on. “Look, I know we need to discuss this a little more. Actually, scratch that. A lot more. But whatever comes up, I hope you know that I love you.” 

“Yeah, I know,” Vanessa said quietly, though her anger hadn’t gone away completely. She leaned against the unoccupied armrest of the recliner. “I’ll try to spend more time with you. Just don’t pull something like this ever again. And whatever you do affects the rest of us as well. You can remember that, right?” 

Heinz leaned over and wrapped her in another hug. “I promise I’ll remember,” he whispered. 

And when he looked back at Perry’s encouraging smile, he knew for certain that everything would be alright. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, that’s the end of this story! I knew I wanted this story to end on Heinz’s POV, since we began with his perspective. I hope you enjoyed this!


End file.
